Asking for help is, I think, one of the hardest things for women to do, at any stage of life. But it becomes painfully obvious when a woman has her first baby, especially if she hasn’t given much thought to the kind of postpartum care she truly needs.
We live in a world that keeps telling women, “You can do it all.”
And yes, you can do anything, but you cannot do everything.
Not at once. Not alone. And definitely not in the raw, tender weeks after birth.
Postpartum is a time when women need support, not just any support, but the right support. So when a woman says, “I’ve frozen some meals, my partner will be around, and my mum might pop in,” that’s not a postpartum plan. That’s survival mode.
We forget that not too long ago, postpartum women lived in multigenerational homes or villages where the new mother became the centre of the household. She was cared for daily. She was cooked for, not one meal, but breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Her body was massaged. Her baby was cared for. Someone checked the baby’s latch. Someone made sure breastfeeding was going well. Someone made sure she was well physically, emotionally and mentally.
Is she resting?
Is she being nourished?
Is her nervous system being supported?
Is her changing brain receiving the nutrients it needs?
Is her body, the one that just created a baby and a placenta, and perhaps birthed both getting the deep healing it deserves?
Because postpartum is not just the arrival of a baby. It’s the birth of a new woman. And that transition is enormous.
When a woman doesn’t ask for help, it’s often because she believes she shouldn’t need it. That she should be able to manage. That everyone else seems to cope, so she should too. This is where the problem begins.
And this is where I want to challenge the narrative.
We need to change the story women have been told, that asking for help makes them weak, failing, or unprepared. The truth is the opposite. Asking for help is wise. It’s protective. It’s essential.
At the same time, there’s another layer: trusting yourself.
Jane Roberts writes, “You must begin to trust yourself. If you do not, you will forever be looking to others to prove your own merit… and you will never be satisfied.”
There’s a fine line between seeking support and outsourcing your power.
Postpartum and womanhood in general, requires both.
Ask for help.
Let yourself be held.
And also trust your inner knowing.
Because you deserve support, and you also deserve to trust yourself deeply.
Both can exist together.
If this touched something in you, or if you know a woman who needs to hear it, please share it with her. Support is a ripple.
And if you can take a few minutes from scrolling and, please take my postpartum care survey.
Your experience matters, and it will help create better support for mothers.
Always here to help YOU.
Theoni