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Why a doula is for everyone by Theoni Papoutsis

Why a doula is for everyone by Theoni Papoutsis
In the realm of childbirth, the presence of a doula is akin to a guiding light, offering unwavering support, knowledge, and empowerment to expecting individuals and their families. While the concept of a doula may be unfamiliar to some, its significance in the birthing journey cannot be overstated. From emotional guidance to practical assistance, doulas play a multifaceted role in ensuring a positive birthing experience for all.

Understanding the Role of a Doula

At its core, a doula is a trained professional, often a non-medical woman, dedicated to providing comprehensive support to women and their partners throughout the childbirth process. Armed with expertise in pregnancy, labour, birth, and the postpartum period, doulas offer a holistic approach to birthing support.

Types of Doulas

Doulas come in various forms, each specializing in different phases of the birthing journey. Birth doulas establish connections with an expecting woman and her partner during pregnancy, offering continuous support during labour and birth, and providing postpartum guidance in the weeks following delivery. Postpartum doulas step in after the baby arrives home, aiding in breastfeeding support, organizational tasks, meal preparation, and offering valuable information on newborn care and maternal healing, both physically and emotionally. Bereavement doulas offer compassionate support to women and their partners navigating pregnancy loss, guiding them through the grieving process with empathy and understanding. Full- spectrum doulas offer comprehensive support from preconception to years after childbirth, ensuring continuity of care throughout the entire reproductive journey.

The Doula's Impact

Beyond practical assistance, a doula's presence provides emotional fortitude, serving as unwavering pillars of support during the highs and lows of your childbirth journey. Empowering them to make informed decisions about their care, so that a woman and her partner know what they want and how to ensure their requests are respected and honoured. Unlike healthcare providers juggling multiple patients, doulas offer uninterrupted support, providing comfort measures, suggesting position changes, and offering encouragement throughout labour and childbirth. Moreover, doulas facilitate partner involvement, empowering them to actively participate in the whole process, fostering a sense of teamwork and collaboration. There have been many times when I have supported the partner more than the woman birthing. Don’t forget your partner is also have an experience and needs support, guidance and reassurance.

Continued Support

As the birthing journey unfolds, doulas continue to offer postpartum care, assisting with breastfeeding, newborn care, emotional support, and resources for postpartum recovery. Their presence during this transitional period helps individuals navigate the challenges of early parenthood with confidence and reassurance.

Embracing Holistic Birthing Support

In essence, a doula's role transcends mere physical assistance during childbirth. They provide holistic support, addressing the emotional, physical, and informational needs of women and their families, making them indispensable allies in every birthing experience. Whether guiding expectant women through the complexities of labour or offering compassionate support in the face of loss, doulas embody the essence of holistic birthing support, empowering couples to embrace the transformative journey of childbirth with confidence and grace. With the guidance and support of a doula, women and their families can navigate the birthing process with confidence, knowing that they have a trusted ally by their side every step of the way.

Navigating Unforeseen Circumstances

In the journey of childbirth, plans may shift unexpectedly, and the need for a caesarean birth can arise. In such moments of transition, the presence of a doula becomes even more invaluable for the couple. They remain a constant source of support, ensuring that the woman and her partner feel safe, informed, and empowered, even when circumstances change. For those initially planning a physiological birth but facing the possibility of a caesarean due to unforeseen circumstances, a doula steps in to explain, prepare, and guide the couple through the process. With compassionate care and comprehensive information, the doula helps ease anxieties and uncertainties, empowering the couple to navigate the caesarean birth experience with confidence and understanding. Similarly, even for those opting for an elective caesarean birth, the support of a doula is immensely beneficial. Before the big day arrives, the doula assists in preparing the expectant mother, offering insights into what to expect during the procedure and practical tips to support her healing and breastfeeding journey afterward. Through education, emotional support, and practical guidance, the doula ensures that the expectant mother feels empowered and informed every step of the way. Moreover, the doula encourages the expectant mother to take time to book an appointment to enable her to connect with her baby before birth, fostering a deep bond and a sense of readiness for the journey ahead. This incredible experience of connection allows the expectant mother to approach her birthing choices and decisions with heightened consciousness, ensuring that they align with her values and desires for her baby's birth-day.

The Benefits of a Doula

Research has shown that the presence of a doula can have numerous positive effects on the childbirth experience. These include a decrease in the use of any medications for pain relief, shorter labours, lower rates of caesarean births, and an increase in successful breastfeeding initiation. The emotional support provided by a doula has also been linked to lower rates of postpartum depression.

In Conclusion

The role of a doula extends far beyond the birthing room. They are educators, advocates, and companions who provide invaluable support throughout the entire childbirth journey. Their presence can transform the birthing experience, making it more positive, empowering, and memorable. So, whether you’re expecting your first child or your third, consider the many benefits a doula can bring to your unique journey. Remember, a doula is not just for the expecting mother, but for everyone involved in the beautiful process of bringing new life into the world.

Take a breath girl! Half way through the year? And no more excuses.

Take a breath girl! Half way through the year? And no more excuses.

Some days I get up in the morning and have to remind myself that we are living in and participating in a changed world. What is actually happening in the world today? Everyone has an opinion, a theory, and a what-if. The truth is we don’t know, and we may know in time to come, perhaps years to come. For now, we need to breathe and stay in the present moment, dealing with what comes up as it comes up. It really is an opportunity to be fully present.

For yourself as a woman, partner, mother, sister, what keeps you calm, centered, and present. What small ways can you remind yourself to be calm? For yourself and especially the children in your midst.

When we are around the children, it is important to know how to regulate yourself. Children push our buttons, they know which ones to press, sometimes more so than our partners. One way that helps me to keep calm and to regulate myself is the breath. Reminding myself at the moment when I want to lash out, correct, defend, etc. I bring my awareness to my breath and remind myself it is not an emergency. I don’t have the awareness every time, get it caught in the reactivity of the situation. Then I remind myself to be kind to myself and that I am doing my best at this moment.

What can we control? do we know what we can’t? The current world situation, the weather, what others think, mostly the things out there.

What are controllable’s? Ourselves, how much effort we put in, maintaining an attitude that selves as well, how much time we spend on social media, how much sleep we get, and what food you eat.

It’s July and halfway through this year, I saw a meme that said the most unused item for 2020 was a diary or year planner. Yes, none of us expected to be where we are at this moment in time. Let’s control what we can, make time this month to take stock, and reflect on what do you want to complete or start or learn, etc

I have realised as many of you may have, that we are all being affected by the world's situation, what can we do as a whole? July is plastic-free month, how can you and your family use less plastic? Here are 5 simply ways:

  1. Buy metal or glass straws and carry them in your handbag.
  2. Buy your own reusable coffee cup and take it when you are ordering a takeaway coffee.
  3. Use material /reusable shopping bag.
  4. Don’t buy drinks that come in plastic bottles.
  5. Buy a moon cup instead of using tampons and pads.

When making a purchase ask yourself?

  1. Do I actually need this?
  2. Can this packaging be reused? i.e. reseal-able bag
  3. Is there an option with less plastic?

What are your excuses? Around each aspect of your life? Not just the plastic problem in the world. Take 3 days where you watch your excuses that come up, oh and they will come up. Make a note of all the excuses, write it down. A few that come up for me as an example are I don’t have enough time? X or Y is more important? Once you have listed them, explore ways to do them differently. What are the most important things in your life? Remember I am available to explore that with you.

I will be posting simple and user-friendly breathing tools on Facebook- Theoni Papoutsis Birthkeeper page and on Instagram @papoutsistheoni

Follow me there and keep updated.

Learning to be agile and steady at the same time

Learning to be agile and steady at the same time
While this time is teac being in the world, something critical for me has been about learning to be agile and to realise that everything is changing all the time. The moon changes every day – every 28 days it has grown to its fullest and then let's go to its fullest. The earth is moving under our feet right now, adjusting and rearranging. Learning to be agile and steady at the same time is essential for all of us as we continue to live in uncertainty. It is what is so importantly needed at this time. Agility is the ability to change direction, to be flexible in our thoughts and reactions, and to think quickly and clearly. For me, it also about being able to let go of how you thought it was going to be, and embracing what is right now. Letting go is a learnt experience; holding on is in our innate nature. Letting go comes when we have done everything we can. Look at what it is that you can actually control. You can control how you feel, what you believe, what effort you put into something you want; your behaviour, your choices, the words you use; whether you choose to exercise or not, get enough sleep or not, or reach out for support. What are we certain of? That there is gravity. That the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. And that we all have limitations. It seems fitting that the 8th of June is World Ocean Day – another profound example in the world of how we can hold, and then let go, like the tides. Halfway through this unanticipated and unpredictable year, in the month that holds our shortest day in the southern hemisphere, being able to balance and cherish our acts of temporary holding, and also of releasing, feels poignant. June is also Men’s Health Month – an opportunity for us as women to consider both the health of our relationships to men and the shifts that need to take place for men to become healthy, at all levels, for themselves and in the world. How do we raise boys to be flexible and open to loving healthily and openly, as well as receiving love? For them to know how to hold as well as be held, safely, and with nurturing? Wishing you all a month of embracing your flexibility while keeping your balance. Of taking control of what you can, and letting go of what no longer holds true for you. Remember, I am available via Zoom and on WhatsApp when you want to reach out. Take care - Theoni Real maturity in a relationship is letting your partner know when your mind feels heavy/turbulent before your thoughts find a way to make a story that blames your tension on them; naming it allows you to know it is there and your partner to know that it is time to support you/hold space. - Yung Pueblo

Remaining steady in uncertain times

Remaining steady in uncertain times
On 10 May we will celebrate Mother’s Day – a day meant to shine a light on and express gratitude for the enormous and beautiful role that mothers – biological or otherwise – play in the wellbeing of us all. May is also a month dedicated to Maternal Mental Health and recognises International Midwives’ Day on the 5th, and International Nurses Day on the 12th. For me, what links these together is the notion of care – for others, our families, as well as care for ourselves. And the need and openness for each of us to both offer and receive care when required. Post-natal depression (PND) is real and prevalent, and it varies from woman to woman. The 9-12 months after birth are as critical for the health of both baby and mother as the period of pregnancy and birth. Support during this time is vital to enable a space where mother and baby can really connect and find themselves in their developing dance with one another. And strength for you as a mother does not only mean your ability and tenacity to do and be everything for your baby and your family, but it also means asking for – and accepting – help and holding when you need it. Now more than ever we need to remain steady and centered within ourselves, as women and as mothers. As the world has and will continue to change, we need to embrace the change and pivot ourselves to what and where we are needed. As mothers, we attend to so much. It is who we are. So start to acknowledge and celebrate yourself – you are doing an amazing job right now! There are so many things you’re required to complete, for work, child/ren, and partner to tend to, and all that comes with that, including all of the unseen and often unthanked for tasks. Now is the time to appreciate yourself – because it all starts with the person in the mirror. Be there for yourself. And also be aware of the narrative going on in your head while you’re busy doing what needs to get done. What are you telling yourself? Are you affirming or being critical of yourself? Become aware of when your mind’s narrative is not generous to who and what you are, and then begin to tell yourself a new story. Your mind is listening and waiting for instruction! If there were no limits and no perceived obstacles, what would you be telling yourself? Start to imagine what is possible for you. During the time of this pandemic, think of yourself as if running a marathon, rather than a sprint. Prepare yourself as best you can, and be practical in how you approach what needs doing. Be patient, kind and realistic – to yourself and others. Ask for help and reach out when you need to. As women and mothers, we are the light and the centre of our homes, and right now we are at home probably more than we have ever been before. So find ways to centre and uplift yourself, and in doing so, you will also be centering and uplifting your family. Here are a few simple things you can do:
  1. Make time to formally breathe for a few minutes each day.
  2. When you feel your mind going into a downward spiral, bring yourself back to the present moment, and check-in with your story.
  3. Here. Now. Connecting with your breath and your body.
  4. Use pure essential oils to uplift and inspire yourself, and your family.
  5. Move your body every day: walk, do yoga, stretch, and dance!
  6. Play uplifting music.
  7. Wherever possible, choose whole, fresh foods over processed options.
  8. Drink lots of water.
  9. Take time to meditate.
  10. Write a gratitude diary before bed.
We are all feeling a wide range of emotions over this time – uncertainty as to what is to come, and insecurity about the future. All of these emotions have the ability to create anxiety and fear in us. But try and see these emotions for what they are: they are energy in motion. Allow yourself to be in this moment, and sit with whatever you are feeling. Don’t put it off till later. Sit with what those feelings are now, and feel the sensations in your body as they arise. Stay close to them. After a time, these feelings will shift. Keep doing this a little at a time when emotions arise for you. And then remember, the 29th of May is National Biscuit Day! (*Yay!*) A timely reminder that you’re also allowed – and need – to treat and enjoy yourself in amongst all your other ‘doing’! I am available via Zoom and on WhatsApp when you want to reach out. I am also available Mondays and Fridays on my Theoni Papoutsis Birthkeeper Facebook page for Q&A at 1030am All are welcome, with any questions covering pregnancy, motherhood, and womanhood. Be gentle and kind with yourself. - Theoni

Health in the time of COVID-19

Health in the time of COVID-19

Not ironically, but certainly with the sense of the universe giving us a wise, if forceful, elbow bump, April is Health Awareness Month, with World Health Day on the 7th. It is also International Mother Earth Day on April 22nd.

In this time of deep uncertainty, what constitutes health?

The world has changed, and it will never be what it was before this. We’re not yet one week into lockdown as part of a worldwide attempt to protect the health of as many people as possible from the physical impact of the virus. But I’m sure that most of us are already realising acutely that health is not just confined to our physical being. Our sense of wellbeing is also strongly determined by our emotional health. And it is also impacted by the mental and physical health of all those around us, or those connected to us. If there is a term that seems to capture where we are at in the world right now – individually and collectively – it is our connectedness.

While we speak about the global village, and share our experiences of living in the world via technologies that enable us to connect and communicate across the globe, the shock realisation of Covid-19, but also its potential value is the understanding that our connectedness is incredibly intimate at some levels. That human touch, proximity, interaction, shared space, routine, travel – i.e. connectedness – have made this a crisis that is not just about our individual health, but about collective wellbeing. What it reveals to us as individuals is our impact on one another – on the health and wellbeing of each other. And that the nature of our health, at all levels, extends beyond ourselves – into our families, our friendship circles, our communities, our environment, across generations; even across species. Melting icebergs, erupting volcanoes, the devastating fires around the world not even a few months back, and the impact they’ve had on the earth, its animals, on people, were reminding us about the fragile state of our planetary health – of which we are so intimately a part. The tides are changing.

This is a time to invest radically in our health, in every way, in all of these spheres. And for us to care radically, both for and beyond ourselves.

Sometimes surrender means giving up trying to understand and becoming comfortable with not knowing.

- Eckhart Tolle

Use this time to reflect on what this means, on how to be from now on, and to move forward. Hold yourself steady: steady your emotions, and be steady in your actions and thoughts. This time presents an opportunity to do our lives differently, and to become adaptable and agile in the face of change and uncertainty. Take time to choose what is important to you. Consider what it is you value, and how you can best support yourself right now.

On a practical and physical level: sort, clean out, and declutter! This also helps at an emotional level to let things go.

We are being asked to let go of what was; to breathe, to stop, and to reflect.

While there are hundreds of tips being posted on social media, for courses you can sign up to, and for things to keep you busy, be discerning now more than ever about what you choose to consume. Take long periods of time away from your phone and social media.

Some balancing tips:

  • Check-in with (at least) 3 people a day.
  • Identify (and commit to) 3 things that you will do each day.
  • Get up, make your bed, etc – it helps to have a structure and a routine.
  • Drink enough water, and get into or underwater to wash away and cleanse yourself emotionally as well as physically.
  • Make sure you are moving your body.
  • Spend time journaling 10 mins a day.
  • Be kinder to others and yourself.
  • Be aware of the stories going on in your mind.
  • Consider: What brings you joy? What brings you pleasure?

I am still here to support you towards your radical self-care and health in many of the ways that I usually offer – just through virtual means for the time being.

I am available daily at 8 am on Instagram @papoutsistheoni.

We connect, I give tips, we breathe, and sometimes I do a reading. The last few days have been a time for me to show up for you all and be focused and in service, which is what I want and needs to do.

Be well, and safe.

Theoni

The human rights of babies & mothers

The human rights of babies & mothers

And just like that, we’re in March, already! There’s already a shift happening in the weather; another season starting to transition. Those of us with children are watching them grow up in front of us faster than we ever imagined. Those of us with growing baby bumps are watching our bodies grow and change constantly. And although we can’t slow any of this down, we can draw out some of these moments to last a little longer by making them more real: by bringing our awareness and consciousness into how we experience these extraordinary, ever-changing movements in our lives, and of everything around us.

It’s Human Rights Day this month, on the 21st March. It’s also World Doula Week from the 21st-28th March. Two markers on a calendar of dozens of other entirely random, and sometimes poignant dates that draw our attention to mark historical events, or to celebrate or acknowledge others for their meaning.

Both speak loudly and urgently to me at this particular moment in the world, where we are so in need of greater humanity, and the healing that acts of humanity have the potential to bring. And, while this is something we want for all those we care about – for the children we’re about to bring into the world, and for the children and families that we’re already raising and nurturing, humanity is what we want to experience for and towards ourselves too.

As a doula and birthkeeper, and as a mom, and a woman, I am part of a groundswell of thousands of other women around the world advocating for the human rights of pregnant women. For their access to humane and dignified healthcare; for their physical and emotional support before and after they birth; for their right to feel safe in the spaces where they birth, and from the people that they birth with. And also for the human rights of all babies born into this world, to be welcomed, loved, cared for, nurtured, and to feel safe.

While we try to protect and nurture these rights for our families and communities, remember that our children watch us carefully and learn by example. And so it’s time for us to start directing greater humanity towards ourselves too!

When we remember that we are part of the families and communities we’re trying to nurture and heal, then we’ll also remember that showing care towards ourselves is a critical part of growing that bigger healing.

I’m here to support your self-care, during pregnancy through yoga, Confident Hypnobirthing, and Full Circle Pregnancy retreats; or otherwise, using craniosacral therapy, NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) and Kahuna massage. Nurture yourself, and others will learn.

Love, Theoni